September ends.

This space is way to small to fit even a part of what is going on inside me lately. I have a problem getting a grip of things on my own so how am I supposed to write them sensible here? This last month has been filled with traveling and meetings. Crazy days in this way. Tonight i'm of to my fourth country, and then not counting the one I actually live in. I have had some great times during all these travels. Loads of fun in London, with old and new people. Wonderful vacations and celebrations in Greece. And a quite amazing weekend i Stockholm last week. And this weekend reunion of the bitches in Hamburg. Even though it is very sad that our president is not able to make it, i'm sure it will be some great times. In one way these fun things makes me forget, and gives me simple fun. But in another way i am so filled with thoughts and doubts that it constantly brings me unhappiness and I feel like a borderline person balancing between fun and disaster. I know that people care and that they worry and that I have many to turn to. But everyone has their own problems and at some point it gets tireding to complain about the same things without any solution ahead. I'm not okay. I'm quite bad actually. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that i'm not my usual happy self always ready for lifes ups and downs. I'm stuck in this down. It's been to much things going on, in to many areas of my life and I feel drained. I feel drained of energy and i've felt drained of hope. I do have the hope that i can start trying to get back on my feet from the end of next week. When I have some less things stealing my energy. But i'm not sure i'll manage, and that scares me.

An amazing person told me that i am one of the luckiest persons ever, because i know what i want to do. I keeping those words in my heart to remember my goal and to start working to get there. Soon september ends. Something new will come.