Hope.

Hope. This small word that means so much to us. How can that be? What is hope? How come it is so important to us? It's said that hope is that last thing that abandons us. Why is that? How come it is so crucial in our lives? We go around and hope for all sorts of things all the time. For small things like no rain today or meatballs for dinner to huge life changing things like that job of our dreams of the love of our life to notice us. But how long can you live on hope? How long until all that is left is actually hope? I'm thinking way to long. All these people being hung up on hope, making them not able to see all the other possibilities surrounding them. That's stupid. Hoping for a relationship to work, when there's actually nothing left behind the hope. Hoping for that career when we should just realise it's not for us. We can have the knowledge, the rational insight but still there it lures: hope. I have hopes. For many things. And some of them I don't mind at all. Others I'm trying to leave behind. Beacuse that's what you have to do. Hope doesn't abandon you. Hope can stay with you for ever if you let it. You have to be the one to leave. It doesn't mean that the thing you had hopes for never will happen. It just means that you have to move forward and live happily like it wount. Then if it will, that's just a bouns.

Carpe diem.

I have spent a big part of my life trying to get through. Trying to get through a difficult time, a time of struggle, a time to try get to that moment of peace when I can just relax and enjoy the fruit of my labour. But at some point I realised something. Life is not about those moments of peace and relaxation. They can be nice and needed for shorter amounts of time, but life is the difficult stormy parts. Life is about struggeling but that's doesn't have to have a negative tone to it. I mean struggeling like in fighting in moving forward in evolving to something more. To always challenge yourself and never settle down and say "this is enough, this is fine". Our lives are changing constantly but don't take that as something bad. Move with it. Embrace the new things life brings you and remember the good things of you past with joy. That's the key to a happy and fullfilling life if you ask me. It's not necissarily easy, but what's the point of something being easy. Life is up's and downs. Life is happines and life is sadness. I don't think we would appricate the moments of joy if we didn't have the moments of sorrow. I guess this is why they say live in the moment. I guess it's quite wise.

Spring time in Skandinavia.

Spring time. You know the time of year when "det gör ont när knoppar brister". The pain of life breaking out is all around us. On saturday I woke up and heard bird singing outside. Tiny flowers are pushing theird yellow or purple leafs up through the ground, towards the warmth of the spring sun. But spring doesn't mean summer. Spring time doesn't mean that winter time is defeted. It still fights back. It still wants to be a part of our lifes and so goes the days of spring time by. One moment the sun is shining down on us, warming us and bringing some colour to our pale skins. Next moment the cold winds are grabbing our coats and so often bringing rain or even snow. But the beauty of spring time is that we know that in the end winter is going to loose and summer is coming. So we can bear with these backlashes by cuddling up inside with a movie and a cup if tea and now and then throw a glare towards the snow outside the window thinking, soon soon the sun will be here again.

Sunday on Lilla torg in Malmö.


Monday on Sjælør Boulevard in København.

Count downs.

It's now...

... 5 hours 'til my job interview!

... 24,5 hours 'til they take the metal screws out of my finger!

... 30 hours 'til my Lina-babe is visiting!

... 5 days 'til mum and dad are visiting!

... 11 days 'til darling Katrine is visiting!

WOHO! :)

Loving the light.

Right before 7 I was walking home from Sjælør station (yeah yeah, the Moose never closes I think!) and I realised it was light outside! All cloudy, but still all light! It was so amazing! It just put a huge smile on my face!

I've been thinking that I want to take up photographing again. I mean not serious or anything, but this city and Denmark/Skåne in general is so beautiful and there's all this different stuff going on. I want out there and take pictures! I think I'd need a better camera though. When I get a job, that's what I'm gonna go and do the first thing, buy a camera! I'm so excited about it! I actually have a great camera in Stockholm, but it's not digital so that's a bummer... but migth be worth bringing it down anyway... I have to think about it.

Academic headace/ girl power day.

Reading reading reading. Book after book. Articles. Online discusions. Everything on one of the (maybe even THE) major dicotomies we use to organize the world. Man/woman. And is there really anything new? Sex/gender. Masculinity/feminity. Masculinities/femininities. Gender structure. Gender contract. THE MAN being represetive for mankind. Being the norm. And the woman being the second sex. Being the other. Structures that have been built in to our society and culture for thousands of years. And all theses texts. Lifting up the problems. Shedding light on the structures. Bringing the opression/surpression in to the open. So what? Can anything really change? This is huge! It feels to big. How can anyone hope to make a difference? It mostly just making me extremly depressed. Happy international womens day!...

A København walk

It's 2 am on a saturday morning. I just feel it's time to go home. I'm not really tired but my energy is just gone and I don't feel like being out any more. So I start walking. Maybe there was a bus around or maybe I could have taken a cab home. But walking through Copenhagen at night is just amazing. It's sothing. So I walk. I walk over Nørreport and towards Strøget to get a cab from there. On the way I decide to save my money and get the bus from Rådhuspladsen instead. So I keep on walking. Just enjoying it. I could walk all night and see the sun come up over byen, God that would be amazing! But not tonight. I need to get up early and study so it'll have to wait. But maybe one warm summer night I will. I truly love this place.

Dikt om kärlek

The amazing love poem by the awesome comedian Björn Gustafsson! Check out www.bjorngustafsson.se

Since I'm doing everything to avoid actual studying at the moment I'm going to try to make a translation of the poem. I want to keep the rime and the feeling, so sometimes it's not exact translated. Björn, don't kill me for it, consider it an honour :)


What is love?
When it is bubbeling in your body like a drink with gas
when you're giggeling like a little lass
When you feel something you can't deny
when eagle fly over mountain high

When all worries are gone with the win'
when Simba returns in the Lion Kin'

When you use a line to skip the trouble about
My dad is rich, do you want to make out?

If you open your eyes wide and look back
with you head out then you really look wack
it doesn't really belong here though
it's just a thing you can do

When I dance in the summer with Elin 'til morning come
and we sat on a bench I was in love she drank rum
When Elin said I was beautiful and that she means
she looked in to my eyes
and threw up on my jeans

dare to steer like a captain dare to fall like a leaf dare
to take the chance and see how it goes
what is cowardly what is courage what is löve
baby don't hurt me don't hurt me no more

Tired, cold and in pain.

It's been a beautifully sunny but cold as hell day. In my line of work this means freezing your as of trying to find some people who are not "sooooo busy". All this ended of with a really cold and really tired swedish girl arriving home at 8. On top of that my finger decided it's good time to start hurting, a lot. Yeay... So most of all I would like to crawl up in my couch, with a pillow, a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate and dooze of to some nice movie. But hey, it's wednesday, so I don't really have choice.

Wish list.

• Shoe shopping!
  There's just something about spring sun that makes me wanna go shoe shopping. I can just imagen all the cute ballerina shoes and funky sneakers and gourgeous sandalettes out there just waiting for me to come and take them home! I especially want a pair of pink ballerinas and a pair of black classy sneakers.
  
  
• Underwear shopping!
  The feeling of new underwear is awesome. They can really make you feel like the hottest babe in the world in a sec!
  
  
• Other random shopping!
  Some nice new tops, maybe a pair of jeans, something for the appartment... it's just fun!
  
  
• That job I might get interviewed about!
  Seems like such a great job! And a proper salery is a big yes please as well!
  
  
• My sluts back in Kbh!
  Okay, not at all realistic, I know, but it is a wish list!
  
  
• Being in Bremen with my sluts!
  The more realistic one... Soon babies, soon!!
  
  
• My Sthlm-darlings in Kbh!
  
  At least a visit from some of them quite soon is realistic.
  
  
  
• You.
  You made a good decision, I do believe that, for many reasons. I admire you for being strong enough to make it. But it still hurts, I still miss you and it still sucks big time!
  

• Loads of money to be able to fullfill most my wishes...
  
  

Pink ballerina shoe from DinSko...

Brand new week.

A brand new week has started. This time is really kinda crazy. It's so much going on. So much to do. And it's sort of an transitional periode were I at the same time has to finish up my study life and start up my working life. It's hard work and exciting and scary at the same time. It fills my mind and my hours with all the stuff that has to be done. I feel focused and hopefull and it's great. Outside my window I can feel spring is coming with it's glimpses of sun, flowers on the ground and birds singing in the trees. The world is coming back to life after the coldness of winter and so are we people, and so am I. The future feels bright as the blue skyes that are hiding behind the clouds. I hope the feeling lasts at least until wednesday... :)