Merry Christmas.

I wish a very merry Christmas to all. I wish for a Christmas with peace and harmony. I wish for no fighting, for no alcoholic family trouble, no hunger and no wars. I wish for all the world to be happy and to enjoy time with their loved ones. Even though it might some like a naive dream, we need to keep wishing and hoping and working towards a better world, a better place. It starts with you, and with me, right here, right now, through reaching out with love to another person.

Merry Christmas!

Broken, beat and scarred.

You rise, you fall, you're down then you rise again
What don't kill you makes you more strong

Through black days
Through black nights
Through pitch black insights

Breaking your teeth on the hard life coming
Cutting your feet on the hard earth running
Breaking your life, broken beat and scarred
But we die hard

You rise, you fall, you're down then you rise again
What don't kill you makes you more strong

In love.

Stupid knee. Stupid body.

Some times I get really tired from all the troubles my body is causing me. Okay, I know I shouldn't complain, I am over all healthy and can do basically everything I want (at least most of the time), but when I think about the costs and when there are restrictions I get frustrated. And I seriously doubt I would have lasted 28 years if I was born 150 years ago.

At the moment I have an annoyingly stupid knee. It's apparently over worked some how and rest is ordered. This means no gym, no biking and no long walks. After resting I was walking a lot yesterday, and the pain is back. So now more resting and I most of all feel like screaming. I need to move. I need to walk. To exercise. It is driving me crazy not to be able to do it.

Aint no nice girl.

I am a running train heading for another collision. You are safer being out of my way.

Beliefs.

Imagine you have been scared to do something for a very long time because you haven't trusted that you would be able to do it. And then you finally start to think that, 'Hey, why should I let my fear hold me back? I wont know if is can do it or not if I don't try?'. It has taken you a long time to get to this line of thought. And you still have all the fears and doubts about your ability. And your standards for your performance is very high. And this makes the progress slow. But then imagine that all the people around you are encouraging you. That they think that what you want to do is amazingly great and they are all looking forward to see you do it. How do you transfer those word from being intimidating and pressuring to being encouraging and inspiring? This is for sure a luxurious problem, right...??

Definitions.

As humans we have a huge need to define and label everything around us and also our selves. One of the first thing we label people after is sex. It is very disturbing for most people if they meet a person that they can not define as man or woman straight away. Among the other main labels we give major importance we have ethnicity, nationality, age, line of work and civil status. I would say that most big crisis we encounter happens when we become insecure about how to label ourselves regarding to one of these things.

I've reached a point where I don't know what to answer to the question "what do you do?". Sure I can say that I'm unemployed, that's true. But it's not a good enough answer, not for the person asking, and more importantly not to me. When I started to form my identity I was a student. Then I was a book store employee for some years before I became a student again. While finishing my studies I became a marketing coordinator. And now I am nothing. I am not a marketing coordinator, and more importantly I don't want to be. So what am I? I am done with my studies, I have my Masters of Arts, so I can no longer be a student. I don't know exactly where to go from here. I am trying to find a path that seems good. With time I will. But not knowing how to define myself is hard and also sometimes stressful.

Sleep deprived.

I wake up feeling like a zombie. My head is heavy after numerous dreams depriving me of well needed proper sleep. I feel like I am heading towards waking up more tired than I was when going to sleep. It's just too much, to many nights, I just want to sleep good again!

Dean's car.

I've never cared much for cars. I do drive, because it's useful. I appreciate that some cars are more comfortable to drive than others. But I don't like cars for being cars. I don't even like to drive. I owned one car in my life. It was old and rusty and leaking something so much that you had to remember to refill it every 14 days. I loved that car. But the only reason I loved it was because it was my car. It could have been any car and I would have loved it. Probably it couldn't have been much worse then it was actually. But lately I have been catching up in the tv-series Supernatural and I've fallen head over heals in love with Dean's car. It is the coolest car I have ever seen. The shape, the blackness and of course the classic rock music that is playing on the radio all the time. It is a rock'n'roll car and I love it!

Dean's '67 Chevrolet Impal

Magnetism

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In physics, the term magnetism is used to describe how materials respond on the microscopic level to an applied magnetic field; to categorize the magnetic phase of a material. For example, the most well known form of magnetism is ferromagnetism such that some ferromagnetic materials produce their own persistent magnetic field. However, all materials are influenced to greater or lesser degree by the presence of a magnetic field. Some are attracted to a magnetic field; others are repulsed by a magnetic field; others have a much more complex relationship with an applied magnetic field. Substances that are negligibly affected by magnetic fields are known as non-magnetic substances.

Distance.

The world has changed radically in a quite short time. Globalisation has made the world smaller and the possibilities for travel and even moving can seem endless for our generation. I view this as a huge advancement. To be able to encounter meetings with other cultures and people from many different countries for shorter as well as longer periods is an amazingly enriching experience. I have been lucky enough to have some really cool travel experiences and I have so far lived in two different countries. I have friends all over Europe and also some in other parts of the world. I consider my self very lucky this way. But meeting all these people from different countries also means long distant friendships. And I have a lot of people that I miss a lot. It is especially hard when some one you love, that is far away, is having a rough time. You know when you just feel like dropping everything and head over to your friend, with a bottle of wine and a bag of candies that you pick up on the way. And you just come over to be there, with that other person, so that they will feel that they are not alone. I love my international life, but I hate the distances that are a part of it. I want to demand that all of my beloved friend move to Cph this very instant, can I?

The path to take.

Some wise words from my darling brother:

"From Alice in Wonderland (free translated from my brothers email in swedish) Alice came up to a tree. There was an owl sitting in the tree. Behind the tree there were several paths leading in different directions. Alice stopped and asked the owl: what path should I choose? And the owl answered: What place is it that you want to go to? Alice though a while and then she answered that she didn't know - and the owl replied: If you don't know what place you want to go to, then you can choose any path..."

My brother ads his comment to this: "These are wise words - and also there's a talking owl - and if you're not gonna listen to a talking owl, then who are you going to listen too????"

Thanks for those wise words! I love you and miss you!!

Walking away.

I have lately, since early summer I think, developed the stupid habit of leaving with out saying anything. I leave parties or bars or just decide to walk the other way from everyone else. Of course always at night. Of course I happen to be drunk at all these occasions. From one hand this is a very annoying feature for my friends, many of them have by now been in the situation where they ask, where did she go? But more importantly I am the kind of person that worries a lot about others and especially when I can't get a hold of them. I would be extremely disturbed if a friend of mine was acting like this. So I have decided to work on this, to get back to normal. This weekend was better. I did leave again. But I did send a message about it. Since I of course couldn't realise that it would have been easier to just say, hey I'm leaving to the people I was with. Well at least a step in the right direction I guess.

The wheels are turning.

I remember how this year started. I remember my thoughts and most of all my hopes for this year. Last year was a weird year. There was a lot of things going on that wasn't really good. After a big high in my life the road started getting bumpy in 2008 and I was having trouble finding my course. But in some way most things cleared out and the year ended well. So when this year started I had the impression that the worst was behind me. I had some truly great things in my life and the areas that were not so good I had high hopes. That is how this year started for me. And from there it all went downwards. Big time. And I ended up here. With two months left of the year, in the realisation of that I'm having a life crises. And that realisation is actually kind of good. Because I have been feeling bad and wrong and haven't at all been able to make sense out of how it can be that I no clue about what to do with any part of my life. So to realise that I have a crisis is good. Because that means that it is nothing really wrong with me, or least nothing that can't get better. And I start to really see that. I can see some positive prospects for my future. I can start to think more clearly about what to do and how. I have a long way to go. But I also know that I do have some amazing people around me. And that they will help me if I just ask. This doesn't mean that everything will magically get better. There's no way all of my issues can be resolved and that I will get success in all the things that I want. But it means that I'm ready to start fighting for that success, to start working for it. And even though 2009 turned out in a completely different way then I had hopes and dreams for 10 months ago, well that's just how life works isn't it? We can't get all the things we hope for, or want. But that doesn't mean that the thing we get instead, some of which we didn't know to wish for, aren't some really good things.

My first time.

Ever since I moved to Copenhagen I wanted to see a football game at Parken. My very first apartment here was on screaming distance from the Danish national arena and the home of FCK. It took me two years and almost two months to get to it, but yesterday was the day. One Dane, one Greek one Icelander and one Swede spent the Sunday afternoon watching FCK win over Silkeborg with one goal against nothing. It wasn't the most exciting game of all times, I have to admit that. But still, an afternoon with live football and a beer or two can never go wrong. So it was indeed my first time at Parken, but for sure not the last one.

Patriotic underwear.

Friday night. Guess once where we might be heading??
We are so stuck in habits... I know :)

Return to the gym.

After holidays, busy weeks and sickness this week was finally the week to get back in to a good gym routine. And since it is also release week for the LesMills programs it is a good week to start again. Yesterday was day number one as we started of with BodyPump. I have to say that the new release was really good, great music and quite some changes in the moves. We both walked out of the class with new energy and really inspired to become regulars at the gym again. Today I can feel the muscles the got a work out yesterday, and tonight there's BodyCombat on the program.

Vaio.

My computer has been dying for a while. It has been sad but at some point I just had to face reality and start looking for a new one. This made me realise that the computer market is a scary scary jungle that you should never enter if you are not absolutely forced to. I tried hard to find the perfect computer. Which turned out to be impossible. And I claim that computer constructors are to narrow minded, because I refuse to believe that my requests are that impossible. Obviously I want a computer that is functional, that can handle the things that I want to use it for. I use my computer a lot, hours every day. I use it for writing, checking e-mails, listening to music, chats and video calls to my family and friends, facebook, reading magazines, planning trips, banking, watching movies and tv-series, i use the adobe design package for photo editing, layout task and more... But besides the practical standards of the computer the design is also of importance. I want to be small and feel easy to carry with me, but at the same time not to small (i'm not looking for a mini-pc). And I want it to look good. To be inviting to work with. Since I have a lot of expensive programs that only work on pc, and since I'm after all is more comfortable with pc I decided not to get a mac, which otherwise lived up to all my requests (including great design). After accepting that I cant get a pc inside a mac cover, and hours spent surfing computer sites online and visiting electronic stores I finally have it! Together with my supporting flatmate I went in to Fona at Strøget and bought a Sony Vaio. So now I'm writing my first post with my new computer. I am very happy with my choice, I really love it!

Twilight.

I finally decided to see what all the fuzz was about. I love vampire myths in books, movies and tv-series. So of course I have heard about Twilight. How popular it is and how the stars of the movie has become just that, stars. The hype about hunky Robert Pattison. The love rumours between Pattison and Kirsten Stewart. But for some reason I had the impression that the quality of the movie would be low, and that it basically was some teenage whatever. But while lying on my couch, with nothing of any interest at all on tv and totally incapable of doing anything else than lying down I decided to give it a chance. And have to say that I really liked it. I think the vampires are very good. They are as when I love them most, strong, beautiful, dark and mysterious. The story is the simplest of them all, the story of impossible love. Always a great story. A strength is also that it's a series. Otherwise I think it would have felt a bit too flat. But over all a good movie. And yes Robert Pattison is gorgeous in this movie!

Friends.

It's all about the people, isn't it? It's the sharing with others that gives meaning. Sometimes it's hard to feel that it's okay to be around people when you yourself is in a bad place. At least I can sometimes feel like I'm contaminating the air around me with my bad vibes. But on the other hand this is when we need good times with friends the most. I have had some really good times with many of my dearest friends lately, and it really made my appreciate how lucky I am with the people in my life.

I've had an amazing Friday in Stockholm a while ago. Dinner with nine wonderful people at a Thai place finally was just wonderful. I had such a great time and I remember the feeling of happiness spreading inside. The night continued with dancing the night away at Patricia. So much fun! I really loved that evening and night!

Last weekend was reunion weekend with the bitches in Hamburg. We managed our best without our leader and it was as always so much fun. Even though we haven't met for months we are always like we never were apart. And we always know how to party, the proud slutty way :)

And back in Copenhagen after all the travelling I also have wonderful people around. And with a brand new start as unemployed I feel that the opportunity is here to get back on my feet and start walking in a direction that I want, that is better.

Me and my darling Sofie. I love you and miss you!

September ends.

This space is way to small to fit even a part of what is going on inside me lately. I have a problem getting a grip of things on my own so how am I supposed to write them sensible here? This last month has been filled with traveling and meetings. Crazy days in this way. Tonight i'm of to my fourth country, and then not counting the one I actually live in. I have had some great times during all these travels. Loads of fun in London, with old and new people. Wonderful vacations and celebrations in Greece. And a quite amazing weekend i Stockholm last week. And this weekend reunion of the bitches in Hamburg. Even though it is very sad that our president is not able to make it, i'm sure it will be some great times. In one way these fun things makes me forget, and gives me simple fun. But in another way i am so filled with thoughts and doubts that it constantly brings me unhappiness and I feel like a borderline person balancing between fun and disaster. I know that people care and that they worry and that I have many to turn to. But everyone has their own problems and at some point it gets tireding to complain about the same things without any solution ahead. I'm not okay. I'm quite bad actually. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that i'm not my usual happy self always ready for lifes ups and downs. I'm stuck in this down. It's been to much things going on, in to many areas of my life and I feel drained. I feel drained of energy and i've felt drained of hope. I do have the hope that i can start trying to get back on my feet from the end of next week. When I have some less things stealing my energy. But i'm not sure i'll manage, and that scares me.

An amazing person told me that i am one of the luckiest persons ever, because i know what i want to do. I keeping those words in my heart to remember my goal and to start working to get there. Soon september ends. Something new will come.

BodyJam

Back at the gym after 4 weeks away. BodyJam is always fun, but that was tough! Never go on vacations! It's so fast to get a bit out of shape. But this week three classes are scheduled. Lets hope I will manage to go through with that. Thanks for the company today Emilia!

Wedding song.

The awesome music that Nina and Aggelos walked in to the taverna to. Rock'n'roll!!

Grande Riot.

They are here and they will rock you! Grande Riot is Johnny Dog Riot on Bass n growls, Jake Riot on Drums n howls, Little Man Riot on Gretsch n vox and Bender Riot on Guitar n fx-box. Look! Listen! Enjoy!

myspace.com/granderiot

(I'm the proud sister of Jake Riot!)

For you.

You asked me not to let life change me. For you I will fight for that. For you I will fight to keep my faith.

Pitch black.

I will find the colours again. One day. But today - pitch black.

Faith.

What is faith and what does it mean for us? Many people have faith in a higher power, a god, or many gods. Some believe in a heaven some believe in hell. Some believe in life after death, some don't. I believed in the capability of man, in that as long as you are making active choices about your life things will work out good and in that there is happy love for everyone. I am not so sure any more. What do you do when your faith is trembling? What is there to live for if you have nothing at all to believe in? If you are unhappy with the way your life is and don't believe that it ever is going to get better? How can you believe in the good of man, in a good future and in love when the world is filled with war, poverty, unhappiness, girls starving them selves to feel in control of something in their lives, others numbing every feeling with alcohol and so on, and so on, and so on... I go for what I believe in. That leads to incredible moments. And horrible crashes. In the moment of crashing the world turns black. It seems impossible to see how it could ever turn in to another colour again. It always has though. I am a colourful person. I hope it can be done again.

Leap to the unknown.

I made a decision. Some might call me stupid. Some might call me brave. And some might just say that I'm young and naive. I do have rational reasons for my decision, but most of it was about following my heart and taking the path that I think will lead to happiness for me. The path of the unknown. My decision means that at this moment I am unemployed from the 1st of October. My decision also means inner peace and a hope for the future for the first time in quite a while. From the 10th of September I will be a hardcore job hunter. But first awaits vacations, cities, sun, fun, relaxing, adventures, a wedding, greek food (a lot of course) and some really great people!

Au revoir!

Romantic and victorian.

I have understood that the underwear trend for the fall season is the romantic, Victorian style. I have seen news letters, articles and ads from H&M, Lindex and Twilfit with this theme. I think it's a wonderful, beautiful and flirty trend that I hope is not local in Sweden. I'm very much looking forward to see the fall trends from LaSenza also.

H&M

Lindex

Twilfit

Preparation.

All trips take a certain amount of preparations. Cleaning the clothes you want to bring. Buying things that you are lacking. Packing of course. And other things depending on who you are. Me, I also like to clean before I go. Not the most serious cleaning. But cleaning up and vacuum the apartment. Because I know how it is to come home. Having to unpack and adjust back to the real world. Then I really prefer to do that in a clean home. I'm also starting to pack quite early. Or at least try to. The problem is that you actually can't pack until the last moment. Which is a little bit frustrating. Especially when everything else is done. And you just want to pack and get going already! Well today I have started cleaning up. And I have a lot of things ready to be packed. And soon soon I get to do it and then i'm off!! London baby! And the sun and fun in Greece!

Weekend.

Finally after twelve days in a row at work I wake up and it's weekend. Since I have sleeping problems again, I can't say that I woke up fresh and well rested. But I woke up to a day without musts. A grey bit rainy day that makes it totally legit to stay on the couch, watching tv. And tonight we party! It's a good day.

Sean and Gus.

Finally I got around to see the first episode of the new season, the fourth one. The concept is simple and I really didn't expect to get hooked the way I have, and I for sure expected to be fed up with the simplicity before the first season came to an end. But I just love it! I love Sean and Gus! I love Lassie, Juliet, Chef and Sean's dad. An awesome series that garantied will make you laugh every time!

Don't you know what I'm talking about? Did you miss it? Check Psych out HERE. Read all about it and watch full episodes online. Enjoy! (And remember to locate the pinapple.)

Sweden vs. Denmark

When it comes to music most of us have something we officially like. You know the kind of music or those bands or musicians that we answer when someone asks for what kind of music we like. Most of us like a lot of other kind of music also though. Maybe something we loved when we were kids and still actually like, or something from another kind of genre than we are "supposed" to like. I am convinced that most people are like this. For me, I'm the rock girl. Metallica are my number ones and the list of rock band I love can be long. But there's of course so much more I like when it comes to music. This is possibly a bit unexpected to some, but I like this Scandinavian rappers (or whatever the official term is). So Scandinavian battle: Sweden vs. Denmark: Timbuktu vs. L.O.C...

Work.

Vacations is one of things really occupying my mind these last days. Knowing it's coming soon is what keeps me going. After working really hard preparing for a big event, that turned out to be quite the failure, after working the 8th day in a row with four more days to go this week, I can easliy say that I am exhausted. I am tired and unispired and longing like crazy until I am on the beach of Greece. I'm hoping it will be all i'm dreaming of, but on the other hand all i want is time to relax and enjoy friends and things around me. Two more weeks...

Sound track.

Thanks to my dear parents I am now with soundtrack again! This morning I was biking to work with this new generation iPod Nano (Pink of course!) in my pocket and James in my ears!

Birthday.

Arriving to work 8 o'clock in the morning yesterday, tired in a half zombie state as all days lately, I was met by a fully decorated desk. Danish flags and "tillykke"-confetti all over! So nice! After work I left the country and went to enjoy the beautiful and sunny evening with a bbq at the Kämpinge Beach. All and all a nice birthday for sure!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes!

Countdown. Again.

In...
...1 day I'm off to Höllviken for a weekend with some peace of mind.
...6 days it's my birthday(!)
...22 days I have vacations! Cph-London-Corfu-more Greece-Arta-Athens-Cph!
...50 days I'm going to Sthlm!
...57 days I'm going to Hamburg!

A ticket to anywhere.

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

Lara, Indy and John.

Sometimes it can be questionable how ridiculous people can be. I'm sure we have reached the limit many time. Thanks for a nice time at Moose last night Indy & John! I needed to get out. Now lets see how long will stick with the most ridiculous names everest :)

They tell me.

They tell me I am asking for to much. Maybe they are right. My faith is weakened.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

New sunglasses.

When both of my two pairs of sunglasses (one which I bought at H&M's kids department last year and one which I've "borrowed" from my mum, who bought them at a flea market some years ago...) I decided it's time to buy some proper ones. So I took my flattie and went to Magasin at Kongens Nytorv for sunglasses shopping! Of course we were trying on all sorts of weird sunglasses, but finally I found two super nice and comfortable one that I bought with my gift certificate. So thank all of you guys for my graduation gift! Awesome sunglasses!

Looking good! :P

The ones I bought. The closes one is actually a light caramel color.

Midsummer.

For the second year in a row I celebrated midsummer abroad. And not just abroad, but without any other swedes. These international midsummer's have been different but quite amazing, in a way the best ones I ever had.

I truly love midsummer, it's one of my favorite celebrations of the year. The origin of the tradition is pagan and it is the summer solstice that is celebrated. It is celebrated in many countries in some different ways. In Sweden, Midsummer's Eve is celebrated from the eve of the Friday between June 19 - 25. In the old Norse pagan religions the sun was worshiped and midsummer's eve was celebrated with sacrifices and fertility rituals. In the 4th century the christian church connected the celebration to the nativity of St. John the Baptist, that was said to be born 6 months after Christ, the 24th of June.

Today misdsummer's eve is a big celebration for the whole family, and most people spend the day and the evening outside. You often leave home in the morning and go to a park or an open air celebration place. Midsummer pole's, covered with leaves and flowers, are risen and especially children with parents or grand parents are dancing around the pole to traditional music and songs.

Midsummerpole (mini one)

There's usually also some activites and lotteries going on. A lot of children also do flower crowns that they wear in their hair. The year's first potatoes, pickled herring, sour cream, and possibly the first strawberries of the season are on the menu, and also bbq is common. Snaps and drinking songs are also important, and many drink heavily. Because Midsummer was thought to be one of the times of the year when magic was strongest, it was considered a good night to perform rituals to look into the future. Traditionally, young people pick bouquets of seven different flowers and put them under their pillow in the hope of dreaming about their future spouse.

Making the flower crowns.

I've really enjoyed my international midsummer's since it's been such an interest for the traditions and especially the flower crowns. This year was different from last year since we had to be inside. But on the other hand we had a mini midsummer pole! Since we were two parties that merge it was also a lot of new faces, which I really enjoyed! So thank you all for celebrating midsummer with me! See again for next year!

If today was your last day,

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each days a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less travelled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

Going against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live it like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your whole life

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark
On ending a broken heart
You know it's never too late
To shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
Cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Good vibrations.

Rain.

The upcoming weather for Copenhagen... 72mm of rain within the next 5 days. 32mm tomorrow. And of course ad to that some wind. Welcome to summer in Scandinavia!

No.

I don't use the word no very much, at least not in the question of social events of any kind. If some one wants to meet, go out or is throwing a party, I'll be there. Even if I had planned to stay in, to relax, watch a movie, if there's a suggestion, for what ever reason to do something social i'll change my plans.

Today I said no. Or decided no. On an event I've been planning for and been looking forward to for almost one year, I had to make the decision not to attend. But it's time, for me to get a grip and grow up economically. So this is the way it has to be. Roskilde, see you next year instead.

Wasn't really right.

Well I wanted you
I wanted no one else
I thought it through
I got you to myself
You got off
Every time you got on to me
I got caught up
In favourably slavery

Well you know my friends
Well they know your enemies
I’d pretend
Not to hear what they said to me
‘Cause I got off
Every time you got on to me
Was it wrong
To go along with insanity?

I guess it wasn’t really right
I guess it wasn’t meant to be
It didn’t matter what they said
‘Cause we were good in bed
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons

No, it didn’t matter what I tried
It’s just a little hard to leave
When you’re going down on me
I guess I stuck around so I could watch us fight
for all the wrong reasons

I guess it wasn’t what I wanted,
It wasn’t really what I thought.
I guess it wasn’t really right
I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Whiskey.

10 things I hate about you. Part 2.

I hate the fact that you're so sweet,
I hate the way you understand.
I hate that smile of yours
and the way you make me smile too.
I hate the way you get the stuff,
that I thought no one else could get.
I hate your curiosity,
and the paths it makes us take.
I hate it that you're far way,
and that I have to wait.
But most of all hate, that i dont hate you,
not even a little bit, not at all
(and that I really think you're worth it all)

Good times.

A horrible night.

Not being able to sleep must be one of the most awful feelings. The reasons for it can many, to warm in the bedroom, stress or just some unknown thing keeping you from sleeping properly. Sleeping has never been an issue for me in general, I can fall asleep in most environments, I' m not bothered by light or noise and usually sleep good while sleeping. With a few normal exceptions, like when being sick or something similar. This year I've had so many nights with terrible sleep. Over a month I was sleeping bad every night. But I knew the reason and I knew that it would pass at some point, and it did. But lately I've felt off in general, tired all the time, tired through the bones and I'm sick of it. And last night was the worst one for a long time. Trouble falling asleep, waking up many times during the night, twisting, turning and sweating all night... at around 4 I woke up and couldn't fall a sleep again for over an hour. Finally I got up at 8.30. Not feeling in the game at all.

My favourite flower.

It is starting to blossom around me now. A few weeks earlier than how it was when, or where I grew up. During those years it was always the question if it is going to blossom for the graduation day. In my family's garden we had a row of high bushes, mixed with the white and the purple flowers, even though they seemed much higher and magnificent when I was a kid. The beauty of the small flowers and the wonderful smell makes the syringa my favourite flower. But there's not only the physical attributes of the flower that makes me love it, it's the promises it carries with it. The early, light flower brings the smell and the promises of the summer that's is just around the corner, the promises of life starting and all the possibilities that life carries. This is why I love seeing the syringa blow gently in the early summer breeze and draw the smell deep deep into my lungs.

Sophie's song.

It is interesting how your creativity seems to flow like never before when alcohol is flowing in your veins. And there's no question about that most of the great rock songs of the history has been composed in a drunk or high (or both) condition (Ozzy Osbourne were for exampel releasing the first record he ever wrote sober the other year...).

So me and my flattie is of course not worse! Saturday night one of the greatest hits ever was composed. It's for sure the next Eurovision winner. The only trouble now is that we don't remember almost half of it... So if anyone reads this who happened to be out and about in Cph saturday night, hearing two girls singing, quite loudly, please don't hesitate to inform me of the missing lines!

Eurovision 2009.

I've sort of been half watching the two semi-finals this week, as wells as randomly checking this years Eurovision songs on youtube. Maybe I've seen 2/3 of the songs. I really haven't seen or heard them all, and most of the ones I have heard, I haven't really paid attention to. But that's is not gonna stop me from having a favourite, and it is our fellow Scandinavian country Norway and their Alexander Rybak. I think it's a really cool song, that he has a great voice and precense and it's also a very cool choreography. So GO NORWAY!

I love LaSenza.

LaSenza is one of my absolute favourite stores, all categories! I think I'm gonna say that together with IKEA it's my absolute favourite store actually. I love it! I could spend so much money in there! Could easily buy 1/3 of the store I think...

I think the brilliance of LaSenza is the width of lingerie products. They have everything from very casual cotton things to quite kinky baby dolls with details in lace. And everything in really good quality. Of course it is a little bit more expensive, it's really no H&M, but I really think it is worth every krone, especially when considering that there's also excellent service from the staff. So if you feel that you're worth good quality underwear (which of course you are!), LaSenza is you're place!

Grand Riot.

Remember that name!

GRAND RIOT

You saw it here first. They will (or at least aim) to be the new big rock band coming out of Sweden. So keep your eyes and ears open...

TV girl.

With inspiration from Anna Thunman at TV-planeten and after the realisation that I'm a bit of a tv-series nerd I've decided to write about tv-series today. I have commented on series before of course. But this post should cover most of the series I have a relationship with at the moment. Some of them I'm madly in love with and others, well I'm afraid some break ups are inevetable. So here we go...

LOST
I have to admit that LOST and I have had our ups and downs. There were times when I really didn't think we would last. But I also blame it a little bit on outer cercumstanses. Like when the Swedish channal 4 decided to end the second season for the summer break with the two last episodes left! But I really feel that we have found the way back to each other, and except that our love is stronger than ever, I'm actually feeling butterflies about you again.

Grey's anatomy
You're like that love that is so passionate that it's impossible to let go, even though you know that there are things lacking it's just not possible to walk away from. But it's okay, we know it will end finally, so lets just nejoy the ride while it lasts.

Psych
Oh how I love you! You're that crazy funny one that always makes me forget all my worries. Just lying with you on the couch is so wonderful and I never want it to end. The only cloud on our sky is the distans between us. The wait for your return has been to long, but finally the summer is getting closer and I'm so looking forward to us being together again.

Fringe
You're kinda new in my life. I feel like we have passed that new exciting period, I still don't know you but I'm still interested in getting to know you. I'm excited over what I've seen already and I have hopes of getting in to a deeper relationship with you.

Dollhouse
You are also new in my life, but in a way we go way back. You're cousin, Buffy - the vampire slayer, was the love of my life, but this is only in your advantage. I know that the foundation of your family is very impressive, and even if I felt that we had a bit of a trembeling start, we are now way of into what can become a strong love story for sure.

Eli Stone
I'm not sure what happend to us. We got a really got start and I really liked you. But something happened. I knew all along that there was no real passion in our relationship, but I did feel that we had something very nice and uncomplicated. But you went away for a while and I didn't really realise that you were back, and after this we just haven't managed to get our schedules to match. But I wouldn't worry to much. I think that we have the potential of a really nice friendship between us that will last a long time. We just need to find the time for each other again and it will be just fine.

Two and a half men
You were that kinda random one that was convenient on drunken horny nights. It wasn't that important that it was just you, it could have been almost any one that could give me a little bit of fun. But then I ran into you again the other day and I realised that I have missjudge you. I feel like I owe you an apology actually. You are so muc more than I remembered or expected. I see so many more sides of you, and I see so many sides of me in you. And the fun is still there, and that was always the good thing about you, and actually I think you have developed also in this. I will definatly start seeing you again, more seriously this time.

Supernatural
I'm a little bit unsecure about you and that's why I have a break with you at the moment. You started as the rebound anyway, or the one kinda interesting to try out when no one more interesting was around. But I did like, you're exciting and dark that way I like it, and hot, that's for sure. But I just didn't miss you that much when I didn't see you. I do feel that there's potentional for us, lets just take the break as something good and when the time is right make a fresh start and see where it's taking us.

Prison Break
I'm sorry, but I had to break up with you. You were hot, but I just didn't feel that we were getting some where and honestly I was bored.

Heroes
I also had to end things with you. Our beginning was also not the most solid one. We took things easy and enjoyed easy fun, but our second year I fell passionatly in love with you and I was so excited! I really thought that we'd keep being amazing, but something happened. I'm not sure what, but I feel that you changed. Or maybe I did. Any way, if I saw you as exciting our second year, I started seeing you as more and more of a freak our third year. Maybe it was there all along, and I just didn't see it, or you changed. No matter what I had to end us. Maybe I'll contact you again some time, and then we'll take that from there and see where we go.

Men in trees
I don't know what happened here. Why did you leave me? Okay, I was getting concerned that there was a risk of that things would bet boring, but it was just a worry, I really think it could have worked out fine.

There's also some of you've that I've went on one, or maybe a few dates on, but you just haven't caught my interest enough to get me hooked. Maybe I'll give some of you a chance any way at some point, or maybe it was just dating to find out we weren't ment for each other:
The Mentalist
Lie to me
My name is Earl
True Blod
Dexter
Lipstick Jungle
Cashmere Mafia
Sara Connor Chronicles
The Tudors
The ladies detective agency
Pushing Daisies
House
Gossip Girl
Nip/Tuck
and more...

Super girl.

Some days I’m a super bitch
Next day I’m your super girl

Step back gonna come at ya fast
I’m driving out of control
And getting ready to crash
Won’t stop shaking up what I can
I serve it up in a shot
So suck it down like a man
So baby yes I know what I am
And no I don’t give a damn
And you’ll be loving it

Kiss kiss gonna tell you right now
I’ll make it sweet on the lips as it can knock you out
Shut up I don’t care what you say
Cuz when we both in the ring you’re gonna like it my way
Yeah baby there’s a villain in me so sexy sour and sweet
And you’ll be loving it

Some days I’m a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won’t last forever
Next day I’m your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin’ better

Hold on - Keeps gettin’ better

Life choices.

I usually say that I believe that it's the choices we make that form us as persons and form our lives. There are in general no wrong choices to make, just different ones with different consequences that will give our lives different directions. A lot of choices are made daily and are so much routine or party of our daily lives that we hardly consider them choices. Most of us get up, go to work, do our work, go home and so on. Maybe it's seems very obvious that it's what we do. But what if one day didn't go to work? Or instead of going home after work, went to the airport and flew to Spain? Or if we just decided to take the bus instead of biking? Some choices have a greater impact on or lives than others of course but also the smaller ones can mean more than we would expect. Maybe the person you randomly start talking to just that day on just that bus will turn out to be the love of your life. So how do we know if we make the right choices? That our life wouldn't have been better if we did get on that bus that day? Or when it comes to even bigger things, choices that we are aware of are big and important and will for sure affect our future in different directions? How do we know which is the right one then? I'm thinking that we can't ever really know. The key is the old cliche 'follow your heart'. That's what I think anyway. We can't know what the future will hold, but we can feel in our hearts what feels right for us in that particular situation and time. And as long as this is what we base our choices on I think that the future will turn out good in the end.

Fitness girl(s)

I'm not totally sure what happened. Was there something contagious in the air at Thorsgade? Did we just go insane staying inside? Or did we need to have some quality sweating time together? What ever the reason was, the fact is that me and Sophie has been at least three times at the gym, every week of the last four weeks! After giving some different classes a try we have sort of settled for three of the Les Mills classes: BodyCombat, BodyPump and BodyJam. The classes and the intructors are really inspiering and the variation is keeping it fun. And friday's are ending the three gym days with the perfect start of the weekend, shaking it in the Jam class. In just one more hour...!

Working girl.

Back in the world of work after three months away. Strange in some ways, nice in others and really annoying to have to wake up to an alarm (yes I know how it sounds, but I got spoilt during these months). The most nice thing is if course to have a pay check to look forward to in the end of the month.

No no no NO.

NO WAY that I'm getting sick. NOT right now. NOT this week. NO FUCKING WAY.

Renegade 5 - I like.

I am Lisbet Salander.

When waiting for my flight to Stockholm the other week I decided to get something to read and my choice fell on the first book in Stieg Larsson's millenium triology. And then of course I had to continue with the second and third one... I finished them on friday last week and they were really good. Very well written both language and story wise. Some times a little bit to detailed, but that's compensated by the very strong characters. The portrait of Lisbet Salander is amazing and I truly fell in love with her. Of course my life has no similarties with hers, but she's so exceptionally strong and cool and I hope that I have some of that, and from that point of view I really think that Kalle jøvla Blomqvist is an ass that you can't help to like. So bottom line, read the books. I'm gonna see the movies next.

Fears.

I am scared of beign looked at with pity. I would truly hate that.

Honestly, what will become of me?

Honestly, what will become of me?
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me

But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
We miss everything daydreaming

Traveling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

MA degree from Uni of Sthlm aka. back home.

The feeling that spread inside when I started walking from Nørreport station towards my place last night was pure. I could feel my body relax and that feeling of being back home filled me all inside. The days I spent in Stockholm was crazy intensive, with a lot of friends, and some new family members in some friends lives, in very short time. It was so great to see all Sthlm-darlings, but all things considered I am not in my most energetic stage these days and it was also very tireing. So to step of the plane back on danish ground, get on the metro in to Nørreport and walk those 2 kilometers through the north parts of the city to the appartment, and all this with a MA degree in my back pack was an amazingly satisfying feeling.

Sthlm spring

With no sun outside, wind in the trees and the knowledge of that it is in general 6-7 degrees colder in Sthlm than Cph during this time of year I am not to excited to go outside. My Sthlm friends are saying that the weather is nice, much warmer these days and the snow has finally melted so the roads are dry. I accept this, I know how it's like. But leaving the start of spring in Cph, with sun and up to 7-8 degrees during the day, to come here, not too nice, okay. But this is the way of the north, and I will soon be back in the south (!) again :)

And so far I've met Theo with the amazing blue eyes, his mum Malin and have had a great evening with my oldest friend, so of course it's worth it :)

Me and the greeks.

I have a hyper mobile back. It is nice some times because it means that I am very flexible. But it's also bad, because it's a bad kind of flexibility if not controlled. So I need to keep my muscles in my back (and the whole torso area) strong so that I can control my movements. Recently I have lost my strength in my back so today I'm rejoining the gym. And with company, which feels really nice. It will be me and my two greek ladies getting fitter and hotter than ever! :)

And no offence girls... but joining the gym with the two greek girls is a little bit funny in my head... But I'm only happy about it!

Hey..

It's the never agains that are the hardest and the most painful. All those things that I loved to do with you that I will never do again. I could make a list of them and some times I do, but in privet, that list is my own. I can tell you that the list is long and filled with things that I will keep as wonderful memories. But the hardest one is not the hear you say or write "hey..." again, not get to tell you what I'm up to and to hear what's up with you. But I'm sure this is no news in the world of the broken relationships, at least of you're the more broken one.

Sthlm time.

My next Stockholm trip is booked and organized. I'm seeing ten people (and two new babies) in four days. I am so glad to see them all! But I wished there was more time... I don't want to see you only a few times every year. I don't want to have one dinner every third or fourth month. I know I'm the one causing the situation, and I don't regret moving, not for a second. But I miss you guys! And I wish that we were closer to each other geographicly, I really do.
See you soon lovelies.

Freaking out a little bit.

In one week from now my university life will (hopefully) be over. My master degree will be finished and no more student. Yeay! And iiihh! Great, but also weird and scary. But okay, that can be dealt with, and actually I don't have to worry about that just yet, I mean I have one more week. But right now I am freaking out about the last exam though. F***! Tentaångest! (exam anxiety) And the worst is that it is combined with total boredome. I don't feel at all like studying... So not finished, not doing anything to finish, but really really have to do something to finish. Kinda freaking out a little bit...

Axl.

Some youtube listening to some of the old goodies from Guns'n'Roses made me realise that Axl was a really hot guy back in the days. Well of course the stage clothes has to be over looked :) And it's for sure that it's that hot guy is loooong gone...

Back in the days...

Nowadays...

Don't cry (too much anyway)

Okay.

A: Hey, how are you?
B: Hey, i'm okay.
A: Just okay?
B: Well. I'm unemployed for over two months, and haven't heard anything from any job i've applied for, I don't get any a-kasse so i've had no income at all for the same time and my relationship just ended. So yeah, just okay.

Spring is coming.

Today is the third day in a row that I have seen the sun. This is a real sign that spring is coming in Copenhagen. The winters are so grey and there can be weeks without any peaks of sun at all. But the sun is back, the temperature is slowly rising and Copenhagen is waking up again.

Full of grace

The winter here's cold, and bitter
It's chilled us to the bone
We haven't seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground

Hangover sunday.

Today is a hangover day. Physical and emotional.

Fun last night with my spanish babe.

Now also available in danish.

I am now also available in danish. Since I am finally, after a year and a half in the country, taking danish courses. And this time I am going to learn! So to practice my writing, and thinking, in danish I have today started a danish version of this blog. I don't intend to do direct translations of the texts in this blog, but I do intend to write about the same matters. I want to be able to write feely in both languages but still keep it so that will be enough to read one of the blogs to keep up. These are my intentions, lets see how it will go :)

You find me in danish here.

Kate + Sawyer

I know, I am a total sucker for movie/tv-love. And preferable the more complicated one, where they actually don't get each other. Where there is complication after complication BUT you know that they belong together and they HAVE to be together after all the obsticles has been overcome. (and as I have discussed before, I am very doubtful about what kind of image of love we get from this)


So. After last nights episode of LOST, "lefleur" it is settled. There's has been season after season with the love triangle of Jack-Kate-Sawyer, and I have to admit that I was routing for Jack during the first season. But then something happened. Sawyers character, as well as the others of course, deepend and we could see that he was something more than just a hot guy.


During the latest season I have been totally head over heals for the couple Kate&Sawyer. The latest problem has been the different decsions they have made concering whether or not to leave the island. In the fourth season this ended with Kate leaving and Sawyer staying behind. Also leaving was Jack and also staying was Juliet. So there was some obvious storyline coming up here and yes, Kate and Jack gave it a try but broke up finally, and yes Sawyer and Juliet got together as well.


In the "lefleur" episode they seem to live happily loving together. Saywer is also involved in a discussion with another man about get over some one you loved. Saywer says that he once had a thing for this girl, but know he can't even remember her face. The Kate and Sawyer story truly seems to be over, or at least majorly complecated.


But then there is the last moment of the episode. Sawyer goes out to meet Jin who has found the returnees. Sawyer steps out og his car, looks at Hurley and Jack. And then, he sees her. Behind them. Kate. And he can't take his out off of her and she looks back at him with a little smile. The way he looks at her says everything without saying a word. There is just no turning back now. It is Kate+Sawyer, and that's the way it has to be.

Go love go!