My problem.

Today I realized what parts of my frustration lies in. I have no inspiration or joy for my thesis. But I have load of inspiration and joy for other creative things. I've had it for a while and doing the Roskilde wall painting really triggered me. I want to do creative stuff! I want to paint, take photographs, do layouts and things like that on my computer and I want to write! I feel an urge for all these things but I feel held back. I feel that before I do anything else I have to finish my thesis and also the course that I have to do after that. And that sucks! I don't want to write on my thesis, so I end up doing nothing at all. And to have the course in the future after that really really sucks. When will I be able to do the fun inspiring things?? I have to find a balance int this. I just haven't figured that part out yet...

Uppsatsen.

My thesis is not at all coming along good. I would say that the best response to the question about how it's going at this stage is: "It's windy in Copenhagen". I have no inspiration at all. I have an interest in what I'm writing about but I actually don't really know what I'm doing. I know what the problems of the thesis are, I just don't know what to do about them. I toss between wanting to delete it all and never finish it or to just write something shitty just to get the credits. But of course deep inside I actually want it finished and good! So it's really fucking frustrating!

A purely amazing experience.

Ever since I came back home I've wanted to write about it. About the concert. About the totally professional show, filled way over the limit with pure excitement and joy, both from the band and from the audience. But I honestly don't know what to write. If you weren't there I'm sorry. You missed it and it was a huge loss. So I'm just going to say thank you Bruce and co. Thank you for a purely amazing experience.

Looking good.

Time runs by and soon it one whole year since I moved to Copenhagen. One year is not that long, but still it feels like an eternity since I came here. It's been one of the most overwhelming years in my life. Those first months here were for sure the best time in my life. All the things I did, all the people I met, the partying, the dinners with the girls, everything was amazing. But all things come to an end they say and so did they life as an exchange student even though I actually never went back to were I came from. But things change, friends went home and I started a new life. I can imagen that most of my friends who went back had a long transition period to adjust back to the life they had before Copenhagen. I've realised that so did I. This spring has in many was been that, a transition period from a crazy exchange life, that had to end, to a more settled in life. I've realised it because I finally feel more settled in than I have for a long time. I feel I have a good base with a job, a great flatmate and a lot of knowledge about the culture I live in. Not everything is questionmarks and fighting to figure things out anymore. And new things have come in to my life recently that make the upcoming fall very appealing. New people and new activites. Even though summer is not even close to over yet I always start to thing about the fall this time a year. And I do it with a really good feeling this year. And I know that more changes will come and that's a good thing, it's life. And life feels good. I just have to get that never ending story, also called my thesis, done at some point. That would be really good! :P

Rock on.

In 24 hours from now it will start. I will be there. At Ullevi stadion. And I will hear them roar. I will hear them rock. And I expect to be blown away. Full report will follow. maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden maiden... IRON FUCKING MAIDEN!

I miss you.

It's been nine months since you left this life. Not even a year and it feels like an eternity at the same times as it feels like yesterday I last sat in your kitchen. I was just a week or two before I moved to Copenhagen. Your were so happy for me even though I could see that you would miss me. You asked me to call you and tell you everything about my adventures here. And oh how I wished I'd had that chance! I miss talking to you so much! I miss telling you about all crazy things in my life, big or small, and hearing about your things, big or small. I miss just hanging out, listening to music or just having a cup of tea and talking. I hate that you never got to know how happy I am here, how many new friends I've made and all the things I've experienced since I came here. I hate that I never got the chance to show you anything from my new life. I still think that I should give you a call and tell you about this or that. I still think that I have to come by for a visit next time I'm in Stockholm. And then I remember. You're not there any more. You're not in my life any more, not in this world. And I know it is better for you. Your body gave up, there was nothing left in there to keep going. It was your time. But I don't care. I miss you. And I wish most of all that you are good and secondly that you know that I am good too. I love you mormor, and I always will.

Overdose on crime.

Danish channel 5 has Summer of Crime theme all summer. They are offering hour after hour with CSI NY, CSI Miami, Numbers, Criminal Minds and a lot of movies. Yesterday I managed to see two different episodes of Numbers, both CSI versions, Criminal Minds and the first half of Sleepers. Today I'm still on the first crime episode; CSI NY but will for sure continue with Criminal Minds after this. I do think that to much crime series will totaly fuck up my mind, not sure if it will be a for better or worse though... :)

I did it.

Okay, so I finally did it. I gave in. I changed my email to gmail. I'm going to give it an honest try, even though it's not pink :)

Bye bye Vincent.

Bye bye sweet Vincent! Come back soon for a visit! And great accomplice with the soup today :P

Happy ending.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

To me.

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

Fairytale gone bad (I know it's not right, but I didn't name the song!)

Out of my life, Out of my mind
Out of the tears that we can't deny
We need to swallow all our pride
And leave this mess behind
Out of my head, Out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had, they're bad
Tell them it's me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad

Lovefool.

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

Stupid songs.

I know we all have this moments when we hear songs that just speak to us, they just hit exactly right with expressing something on our mind. It doesn't mean anything. It's just songs. And I know I usually put all songs that speak to me. But some of these ones are too fucking pathetic. I'll think about it and we'll see. Don't hold the words against me, believe me these feelings are not chosen ones, I'm just stuck with them at the moment.

I love the beach.

Today we took the car and went over to Höllviken. A cute village where my family has a summer house and I spent my childhood summers. After a quick look at the house my parents are building we went down to the beach. I love this beach so much. I realise it probalby doesn't compare to the beaches in the mediteranian countries, but it's not that common with long sandy beaches up here. It's a really beautiful beach. We played, ate and even went for a swim before Sofie, Tommie and Tuva-Li had to catch the train in Malmö to go back to Stockholm. This week has been so great! Tomorrow it's back to work and I shoud also get serious about my studies again. But that's tomorrow! Today I relax on my couch with the tv as my company!

More brunch to the people part 2.

I've said it before and I write it again. Brunch is an awesome invention. I just love it. I had another great one on Saturday. Lovely food and lovely people. Thanks for the initiative Efi!! After the nice time out on Amager the swedes continued the Copenhagen visit with a walk through Christiania and through the city centre back to the central station. The day was completed with taco night back at my place.

Tourist.

Today we've been tourists in Copenhagen. It's been so nice! With Nørreport station as our starting point we headed towards a day of shopping and tourist attractions. After a stop at awesome store Tiger and some China box lunch we visited the Round tower. I've been wanting to go up there ever since this danish guy told me you could my first week in Copenhagen. And now I've finally done it! Woho! It was really nice actually. Then we headed towards Strøget and caught a tourist train at Amager Torv, Tuva-Li was so excited about it! And I really liked it too :) We got off at Kongens Nytorv and walked back up to The Guiness Worlds Records museum. After the educational dose, we did some more shopping (looking) at Illum Bolighus (who had the best couch ever!), Søstrerne Greene, New Yorker and some other places. The evening ended with dinner at Jensens Bøfhus and of course the ice cream buffet for dessert! So today has be a really great day!

Møn.

Yesterday we took the car and went on a day trip to Møn. The island lies in the south part of Sjælland and is 120 kilometres from Copenhagen. My friend Tommie was the driver on the way there and I was the excellent map reader. Little Tuva-Li got really tired in the end and just wanted to get out, but that's how life works when you're three. Møn is famous for it's coast of white rocks and they were really worth the drive. It was so beautiful! We had a lunch picnic under a cliff on the rocky beach looking out on the sea and then just relaxing and having fun. On the way home we made a stop in the main city on the island, Stege. Or village maybe is more accurate. It was a really cute town and Tuva-Li got her first red pølse. On the way back I was the driver. I don't like it but need the practice. It went great. I was driving really fast (for being me) and even passing by cars! Big achievement in my world! Today we're going to do Copenhagen sightseeing!

Darling-Sofie and crew.

Except the successful painting project I also got visitors from Stockholm today. Sofie, Tommie and Tuva-Li arrived to Copenhagen this afternoon. A bit confused, like Stockholm people in Kbh might be, by in good spirit after the long train ride. After Tuva-Li strongly delared that she does not want to sleep at my house we managed to have a very nice (but a bit unorganized time and dinner wise - sorry!) evening. Tuva-Li made a new playmate and I'm so happy to have my darlings here! Tomorrow a one day road trip lies ahead!

Awesome teamwork = awesome result.

Today was the day of the painting project. After complaints from my friend about his boring whitish/greyish walls the idea of painting the Roskilde logo on one wall came in to my hangover mind on Saturday. The idea also includes to fill the wall around the painting with photos from the festival. So. At 9 o'clock this morning I arrived at the scene of the action. To a very tired accomplish has to be said. After hours of preparation work, including washing the wall, Stavros impressing me with great messuring, me inpressing my self with beautiful curves between Stavros points and tejping very thorowly, I rolled the beautiful orange color on to the wall. After to layers of paint had dried we peel of the tejp and revealed our master piece! It's is fucking aewsome! I'm so excited, proud and happy about the result and the work! I really really missed this kind of creative painting projects. The photos are still to come, but the base is set and noone will ever call this wall boring again, that's for sure!

Before...

...and after!

Woho! We are the best!

Painting -project and darling-Sofie.

To start a day with a really cool painting project and then go off to pick up Sofie, Tommie and Tuva-Li at Copenhagen H makes a really reall good day in my world. I'll be back with results...

Ulla you will be missed.

A wonderful person have left this life and she will be missed. She was always happy, always keeping her spirit up. She was intereseted and concerned in others and she was an awesome cook. I know she wasn't my relative at all anymore, but I thougth she was amazing and I cared for her so much. My heart goes out to her family for whom I know she meant a lot.

Ulla you will be missed.

Crazy Lazy Weekend.

Monday morning. Or well, mid day to completely honest. But still. Just finished my breakfast and is relaxing before getting ready to meet up with mum and go and see a movie. That's the way to spend a monday on vacations. And that after a weekend with crazy partying on friday night, relaxing with with friends on saturday and sunday and a, for my body, shocking (but great) running experience. This is for sure the best way to spend you days. Fun and realxing surronded by great people.

Crazy baking.

• 2 kinds of bread
• pizza dough
• kanelbulle
• kärleksmums
• mandelkross
• mariannekakor

in one day....

Bye bye my darling.

The trip to the airport today was a really hard one. Going to the airport is usually connected with excitement and joy. Either you're about to go somewhere, for vacations, visit family or experience a new place. Or you're going to pick up a visitor. Both are happy moments. My trip to the Kastrup today was to say good bye to a good friend leaving Copenhagen to go back home to Spain. This is inevitable when your friends are Erasmus and other exchanges students. That doesn't make the pain any less every time a friend leaves. Sure I'm lucky, I have friends all over Europe (and yes I'm lucky that most of them are europeans and thereby not THAT far away), but god I would like to lock them up and keep the in dear Kbh! But that's not really fair I know. So I'll handles the good byes and stay greatful for all the amazing people I'm lucky enough to call my friends! I love you all and miss you all. Today especially my darling Miriam! Stay crazy and wonderful just as you are and I'll see you again! I promise my sweet!

Stupid cold

I have a cold. It sucks! I feel like my whole head is filled with snot that's trying to find it's way out. I really really don't like to be sick. And there's so much going on these days. Good bye dinners. Last night on town with Miriam. Mum coming over. Vacations! Friends visiting and more coming. So keep drinking greek tea and hope that this stupid cold passes soon!

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you.

Roskilde '08

I'm back. Back in the civilized world were there are real bed and warm showers and bathrooms witouth ques. For good and bad I'm back. I loved it. It was in many ways exactly what I expected and in other ways nothing like I expected. Maybe because I didn't have that many clear expectations before. I arrived on thursdag with work and got the full tour. It was nice but way toooo long. After that I tried to find a place to sleep (thanks Danny for taking me in!!), get rid of all of my stuff and get my bracelet. A lot of work as it turned out. After that it was Roskilde festival all day all night. It was old firends and it was new friends. It was stupid misunderstandings, people showing again why I love them and people showing sides that made them loose my respect and people just being a great fun. I guess it's all part of a festival experience.

The best band was definitely THE HELLACOPTERS! The experience of seeing them was fucking awesome! And with Dregen coming back for the extra numbers... well I was high on that for days! Gotta get some action with the original set up. Hell YEAH!!! I loved it!


The biggest surprise was L.O.C. I actually liked it.

The best day must have been saturday. It was the day (or night might be more correctly) I stayed out the longest. It included so many different friends, a lot of different and good bands, a good amount of alcohol, tears and laugther. Basicly all the things that the best parties consists of.

Considering the camping... well it was okay. Yeah it was crazy hot in the mornings in that tiny tent. And yeah it not very comfortable, and it's dirty and sweaty... but it was okay. Really. I didn't mind it.

So to conclude... I think there's big chance I going back next year. I bit wiser from this years experience. Next time I'm bringing some more things. And I think that investing in a tent is a good idea.

Die for who?

The danish channel 5 has a crime theme between 8 and 10 every night. Todays episode of CSI NY got me thinking. The villans mother was hiding him, protecting him until the CSI team came by and Mac of course talked her in to giving him up to the police. So. Would you do that? Who would you protect or stand by at any cost? Family? Friends? Partner? The people you love. Cause love of course is the center of this mind game. But how far would you go? You partner or mum or brother comes to you and asks for your help. Help to be hidden maybe. Would you hide them? Would you lie to keep them hidden? Would you lie to the police? To the law? How far would you go? Is there anyone you would die for?

I honestly don't know the answers to these questions. I have a small group of people on my life that I would do a lot for. My parents, my brothers and about three or four friends I would go really really far for. My other close friends that I would do a lot for. I consider myself a loyal person. I stand up for my loved ones, sometimes more than I get in return. But that's a core value for me, and people who can't stand up for me like I would for them are not true friends in my opinion. They can be friends in another meaning, but no to be trusted or counted on fully. This is maybe straying from the subject. But the point is of course, where is the line? How much do we ask from people around us and were do we draw the line for what we put up with and support with? Would you die for me? And what kind of person would I be if I asked you to?

Roskilde coming up.

I preparing. The last hours before my first festival experience. Roskilde 2008. I've geared up and hopefully I'll bring everything I need without bringing to much. I have already, before even arriving at Roskilde been dumped from two camps. So less than 20 hours before I'm off I have no idea where I'll sleep. There are some sweet friends that seem to able to take me in, so I should be fine. The big question lige nu is wether or not I should bring my rain boots... The forecast says no rain. They are kind of big. But still. I have a feeling, if I bring them it wount rain, if I dont bring them it will rain...