I'm such a mess.

I'm such a messy person. I know it. Most people that has known me a bit longer knows it. It's not that I want to be. It's not that I don't feel bad about having huge mess around me. The thing is that it just happens. All of a sudden the mess is there again. And then it sort of feels like it doesn't matter to be tidy anymore and within a day or two it's all out of controll. And when your desk happens to break totally in the middle of a mess, well, lets just say it doesn't really help. But it really gives me a feeling of restlessness. I don't feel good at all about living in a mess. And I do clean it up! And the cleanings are not to far apart. And then everything is really nice! For a few days, before it all starts over again... :)

Some days

Some days you just wake up with the feeling that the only thing that could make this day remotely okay is if you crawled under your cover and just stayed there. Today is one of those days.

Rain boots!

Today I bought the awesomest (it's a word now!!) rain boots ever! They are cool and cute (yes rain boots can be cute) and just so great! I love them! Going to Roskilde Festival seemed like a good enough reason to buy them. It might rain. It might get muddy. It's important to be prepared. You know, to be safe just in case... And I am now! I mean, I don't really wish for rain... I just really love to wear my new boots (am wearing them right now, inside in the kitchen, and come on! guys! picture it: only these rain boots and nothing else...)

Midsummer weekend

Friday was midsummer eve in Sweden. A big celebration day for the whole family and always a lot of partying. I decided to stay abroad and celebrate with all my Copenhagen friends. I threw an outdoor party in the park by my apartment with start 3pm. Of course there was some rain and not crazy warm. But it was fucking awesome! Thank you thank you thank you everyone who came and made this one of my absolutely best midsummers ever! Just a great hygge night with loads of sweet people!

Lost and found.

I've never so many new people come in to my life as during this last year. So many new friends. So many people that have come to mean so much to me in different ways. I've also never had so many people walking out of my life as during this last year.

My mum is a very wise woman. Sometimes it's scaring how wise, or how insightful. Anyway. My mum said to me the other week that it's all connected. Sure I've never had so much pain and tears as this last year, but neither so much joy and happiness. You can't have one without the other. So the question is would I prefer a life without all this? Without the pain and sorrow but then also without the happiness. No way! Not me! That kind of life sounds extremely plain and boring to me. You have to risk to gain and you have to experience defeat to win. I'd rather cry of both happiness and sadness instead of not at all.

So in the end I'm grateful. For everything and everyone in my life.

Helvetes jävla skit!

We were so good. The TEAM was so good. We were fighting like hell. During the last period of the first half it felt like we could even win. Every single player was raising. The gods were of course Zlatan and also the defenders with Mellberg leading them. Fucking awsome! But we are not at Spains level. And raising above costs energy and we didn't last 90 minutes. That's the game. You have to be the best after 90 minutes. And with Zlatan only playin 45 2-1 to Spain was the outcome. It fucking sucks!!!!!!!

Sweden - Spain

Tonight is the second game for Sweden in the Euro 2008. And the opponent is Spain. I would love to shout: Spain, you going down tonight!! I'm realising that's being a bit overconfident though. Spain has a great team and they played really good in the first game against Russia. Sweden doesn't have a very good team. Realisticly I don't really believe that we could anything at all. But in my heart I believe. In my heart I believe that we could bet Spain, and definatly get one point at least. So Go Sweden Go!

Another reason to love football...

...except to enjoy the beauty of the game, there's other beauty to enjoy!

I wanted the horse.

There are times in when you just know that enough is enough. It happens to us all, in all kind of different situations in life. When we feel that this is not okay anymore. It doesn't mean that we weren't okay with it before. It just means that at this point in this situation this is not okay. There are points in relationships that comes to this. Points were one person can feel that this, what we have, or sort of have, is not enough. I stood there. I felt it. There was a time were a text message, a phone call or a casual night was enough. It was what I could get and it was enough. I don't regret. Nothing. It made me happy. I wouldn't trade the messages, the calls, the nights, the laughs or the cryes for anything! But it's not enough anymore. I know it's likely you'll read this. I know that you'll know it's about you. I know that this is the easy way of telling you. But you're the one who told me. Don't write for others, write for you. And I am. This is universal. It's for everyone. But most of all this is for me. And I'm saying I want the horse. I want the horse or it's nothing at all. No more with this that has been. The time has come, to be the knight in shining armour. With flowers, and chocolate (and alcohol cause me and Soph seem to have drunk it all) on the magnificent black horse in the sunset declaring that living without me is not living at all! And even if you come on the horse I can't promise to give you a chance. But that's were I stand. I wanted the fucking horse, and without it this has to be good bye.

Zlatan is my god.

Sweden - Greece 2-0

Martini Bianco.

I'm sitting in my room with a martini bianco with ice. It tastes like summer. It tastes like the summers around 20. It tastes like Höllviken. It tastes like happiness, fun and love. It tastes like Lina. Don't get me wrong here! Martini bianco is just always going to be our drink. The taste brings back memories of a person I used to be. Before all these changes. But a happy person. The memories are good memories and I know that these are the kind of memories I will keep in my heart all my life. Memories of a crazy week at the summer house. Of eating outside. Of biking extremly drunk to the beach and loosing half of the group, just to find them in the most unexpeted place a a laughing pile of three people nad two bikes. Memories of turning left instead of right just because the word sounds more fun. Memories of bbq in Segeltorp with loads of b-sauce and tzatziki. It's fantastic the way a taste can not just bring back memories like this, but bring back a state of mind. And this taste brings back a happy feeling. And a sudden urge for my Lina-babe!

Stay.

A few hours ago I woke up to another amazingly beautiful morning. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. The last weeks we've been blessed with wondeful summer days. I love it. But this time of year, the end of the semester, has during the last year become an quite aweful time of year. People are leaving. All over, all the time, everone is leaving. It has started already. Last week. This week. Within a few days even more will be gone. By mid-july basicly everyone has left. And it fucking sucks!!!!! I really really hate this!! Sure we'll stay in thouch. And sure it's great to have friends to visit in almost all the coutries of Europe. But it would be a houndred times better if you stayed in Copenhagen! So all you stupid stupid leaving people, don't leave! Stay in Copenhagen! It's a wonderful place and I'm here :)