September ends.

This space is way to small to fit even a part of what is going on inside me lately. I have a problem getting a grip of things on my own so how am I supposed to write them sensible here? This last month has been filled with traveling and meetings. Crazy days in this way. Tonight i'm of to my fourth country, and then not counting the one I actually live in. I have had some great times during all these travels. Loads of fun in London, with old and new people. Wonderful vacations and celebrations in Greece. And a quite amazing weekend i Stockholm last week. And this weekend reunion of the bitches in Hamburg. Even though it is very sad that our president is not able to make it, i'm sure it will be some great times. In one way these fun things makes me forget, and gives me simple fun. But in another way i am so filled with thoughts and doubts that it constantly brings me unhappiness and I feel like a borderline person balancing between fun and disaster. I know that people care and that they worry and that I have many to turn to. But everyone has their own problems and at some point it gets tireding to complain about the same things without any solution ahead. I'm not okay. I'm quite bad actually. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that i'm not my usual happy self always ready for lifes ups and downs. I'm stuck in this down. It's been to much things going on, in to many areas of my life and I feel drained. I feel drained of energy and i've felt drained of hope. I do have the hope that i can start trying to get back on my feet from the end of next week. When I have some less things stealing my energy. But i'm not sure i'll manage, and that scares me.

An amazing person told me that i am one of the luckiest persons ever, because i know what i want to do. I keeping those words in my heart to remember my goal and to start working to get there. Soon september ends. Something new will come.

BodyJam

Back at the gym after 4 weeks away. BodyJam is always fun, but that was tough! Never go on vacations! It's so fast to get a bit out of shape. But this week three classes are scheduled. Lets hope I will manage to go through with that. Thanks for the company today Emilia!

Wedding song.

The awesome music that Nina and Aggelos walked in to the taverna to. Rock'n'roll!!

Grande Riot.

They are here and they will rock you! Grande Riot is Johnny Dog Riot on Bass n growls, Jake Riot on Drums n howls, Little Man Riot on Gretsch n vox and Bender Riot on Guitar n fx-box. Look! Listen! Enjoy!

myspace.com/granderiot

(I'm the proud sister of Jake Riot!)

For you.

You asked me not to let life change me. For you I will fight for that. For you I will fight to keep my faith.

Pitch black.

I will find the colours again. One day. But today - pitch black.

Faith.

What is faith and what does it mean for us? Many people have faith in a higher power, a god, or many gods. Some believe in a heaven some believe in hell. Some believe in life after death, some don't. I believed in the capability of man, in that as long as you are making active choices about your life things will work out good and in that there is happy love for everyone. I am not so sure any more. What do you do when your faith is trembling? What is there to live for if you have nothing at all to believe in? If you are unhappy with the way your life is and don't believe that it ever is going to get better? How can you believe in the good of man, in a good future and in love when the world is filled with war, poverty, unhappiness, girls starving them selves to feel in control of something in their lives, others numbing every feeling with alcohol and so on, and so on, and so on... I go for what I believe in. That leads to incredible moments. And horrible crashes. In the moment of crashing the world turns black. It seems impossible to see how it could ever turn in to another colour again. It always has though. I am a colourful person. I hope it can be done again.