Renegade 5 - I like.

I am Lisbet Salander.

When waiting for my flight to Stockholm the other week I decided to get something to read and my choice fell on the first book in Stieg Larsson's millenium triology. And then of course I had to continue with the second and third one... I finished them on friday last week and they were really good. Very well written both language and story wise. Some times a little bit to detailed, but that's compensated by the very strong characters. The portrait of Lisbet Salander is amazing and I truly fell in love with her. Of course my life has no similarties with hers, but she's so exceptionally strong and cool and I hope that I have some of that, and from that point of view I really think that Kalle jøvla Blomqvist is an ass that you can't help to like. So bottom line, read the books. I'm gonna see the movies next.

Fears.

I am scared of beign looked at with pity. I would truly hate that.

Honestly, what will become of me?

Honestly, what will become of me?
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me

But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
We miss everything daydreaming

Traveling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?

MA degree from Uni of Sthlm aka. back home.

The feeling that spread inside when I started walking from Nørreport station towards my place last night was pure. I could feel my body relax and that feeling of being back home filled me all inside. The days I spent in Stockholm was crazy intensive, with a lot of friends, and some new family members in some friends lives, in very short time. It was so great to see all Sthlm-darlings, but all things considered I am not in my most energetic stage these days and it was also very tireing. So to step of the plane back on danish ground, get on the metro in to Nørreport and walk those 2 kilometers through the north parts of the city to the appartment, and all this with a MA degree in my back pack was an amazingly satisfying feeling.

Sthlm spring

With no sun outside, wind in the trees and the knowledge of that it is in general 6-7 degrees colder in Sthlm than Cph during this time of year I am not to excited to go outside. My Sthlm friends are saying that the weather is nice, much warmer these days and the snow has finally melted so the roads are dry. I accept this, I know how it's like. But leaving the start of spring in Cph, with sun and up to 7-8 degrees during the day, to come here, not too nice, okay. But this is the way of the north, and I will soon be back in the south (!) again :)

And so far I've met Theo with the amazing blue eyes, his mum Malin and have had a great evening with my oldest friend, so of course it's worth it :)

Me and the greeks.

I have a hyper mobile back. It is nice some times because it means that I am very flexible. But it's also bad, because it's a bad kind of flexibility if not controlled. So I need to keep my muscles in my back (and the whole torso area) strong so that I can control my movements. Recently I have lost my strength in my back so today I'm rejoining the gym. And with company, which feels really nice. It will be me and my two greek ladies getting fitter and hotter than ever! :)

And no offence girls... but joining the gym with the two greek girls is a little bit funny in my head... But I'm only happy about it!

Hey..

It's the never agains that are the hardest and the most painful. All those things that I loved to do with you that I will never do again. I could make a list of them and some times I do, but in privet, that list is my own. I can tell you that the list is long and filled with things that I will keep as wonderful memories. But the hardest one is not the hear you say or write "hey..." again, not get to tell you what I'm up to and to hear what's up with you. But I'm sure this is no news in the world of the broken relationships, at least of you're the more broken one.

Sthlm time.

My next Stockholm trip is booked and organized. I'm seeing ten people (and two new babies) in four days. I am so glad to see them all! But I wished there was more time... I don't want to see you only a few times every year. I don't want to have one dinner every third or fourth month. I know I'm the one causing the situation, and I don't regret moving, not for a second. But I miss you guys! And I wish that we were closer to each other geographicly, I really do.
See you soon lovelies.

Freaking out a little bit.

In one week from now my university life will (hopefully) be over. My master degree will be finished and no more student. Yeay! And iiihh! Great, but also weird and scary. But okay, that can be dealt with, and actually I don't have to worry about that just yet, I mean I have one more week. But right now I am freaking out about the last exam though. F***! Tentaångest! (exam anxiety) And the worst is that it is combined with total boredome. I don't feel at all like studying... So not finished, not doing anything to finish, but really really have to do something to finish. Kinda freaking out a little bit...

Axl.

Some youtube listening to some of the old goodies from Guns'n'Roses made me realise that Axl was a really hot guy back in the days. Well of course the stage clothes has to be over looked :) And it's for sure that it's that hot guy is loooong gone...

Back in the days...

Nowadays...

Don't cry (too much anyway)

Okay.

A: Hey, how are you?
B: Hey, i'm okay.
A: Just okay?
B: Well. I'm unemployed for over two months, and haven't heard anything from any job i've applied for, I don't get any a-kasse so i've had no income at all for the same time and my relationship just ended. So yeah, just okay.

Spring is coming.

Today is the third day in a row that I have seen the sun. This is a real sign that spring is coming in Copenhagen. The winters are so grey and there can be weeks without any peaks of sun at all. But the sun is back, the temperature is slowly rising and Copenhagen is waking up again.

Full of grace

The winter here's cold, and bitter
It's chilled us to the bone
We haven't seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground

Hangover sunday.

Today is a hangover day. Physical and emotional.

Fun last night with my spanish babe.

Now also available in danish.

I am now also available in danish. Since I am finally, after a year and a half in the country, taking danish courses. And this time I am going to learn! So to practice my writing, and thinking, in danish I have today started a danish version of this blog. I don't intend to do direct translations of the texts in this blog, but I do intend to write about the same matters. I want to be able to write feely in both languages but still keep it so that will be enough to read one of the blogs to keep up. These are my intentions, lets see how it will go :)

You find me in danish here.

Kate + Sawyer

I know, I am a total sucker for movie/tv-love. And preferable the more complicated one, where they actually don't get each other. Where there is complication after complication BUT you know that they belong together and they HAVE to be together after all the obsticles has been overcome. (and as I have discussed before, I am very doubtful about what kind of image of love we get from this)


So. After last nights episode of LOST, "lefleur" it is settled. There's has been season after season with the love triangle of Jack-Kate-Sawyer, and I have to admit that I was routing for Jack during the first season. But then something happened. Sawyers character, as well as the others of course, deepend and we could see that he was something more than just a hot guy.


During the latest season I have been totally head over heals for the couple Kate&Sawyer. The latest problem has been the different decsions they have made concering whether or not to leave the island. In the fourth season this ended with Kate leaving and Sawyer staying behind. Also leaving was Jack and also staying was Juliet. So there was some obvious storyline coming up here and yes, Kate and Jack gave it a try but broke up finally, and yes Sawyer and Juliet got together as well.


In the "lefleur" episode they seem to live happily loving together. Saywer is also involved in a discussion with another man about get over some one you loved. Saywer says that he once had a thing for this girl, but know he can't even remember her face. The Kate and Sawyer story truly seems to be over, or at least majorly complecated.


But then there is the last moment of the episode. Sawyer goes out to meet Jin who has found the returnees. Sawyer steps out og his car, looks at Hurley and Jack. And then, he sees her. Behind them. Kate. And he can't take his out off of her and she looks back at him with a little smile. The way he looks at her says everything without saying a word. There is just no turning back now. It is Kate+Sawyer, and that's the way it has to be.

Go love go!

Carefull what you wish for.

All I wanted this week was distractions, to keep my mind busy and not think to much. Last night my focus was really shifted, but oh I wish it hadn't.

Capoeira is a martial art. That means that it is a artistic fight. And no matter how much it might seem like dance it is not. The dance is the cover that tries to stop us from seeing the fighting underneath. So there are two players in the roda, the french princess and the danish blond prince. The game is fast and energetic. And there's an elbow and there's a head and what is not meant to happen happens. It is a fight. And even if there's not supposed to be hit they happen. The elbow hits the head and the french princess wants to become sleeping beauty.

Two and a half hours later, after an ambulance ride and a visit to the emergancy room I am allowed to take her home. A mild concussion after no unconciusnes and no throwing up, so as long as she's not sleeping alone she can leave the hospital. I been watching after her, in a bit of a shock myself.

Morning has broken and life will go on. The french princess will have a bump as a token of her warrior skills for some days (can always be used in the conversation with the line "you should see the other guy"), but she's much better and will be just fine. Was it scary? Yes. Did I worry? Of course! Honey, you can't tell me not to worry about a loved one, of course I worry about you. So the next few days I will be the annoying worried one, I hope I wount piss you of too much :) But if I do, it's okay. This is what friends do, we are here for each other, for better and worse. And as an international it is even more important, because here, our friends are our family.

Feeling loved.

It's in extreme situations you find out who your true friends are, isn't it? I feel so lucky and so loved after this. I really have some truly amazingly supportive and loving people in my life. Thank you for being my friends, my life would be much poorer without you girls. I love you a lot and I hope you know that I'm here for you as you are for me.

Heartbroken.

I am hit but the realisation of how psychological pain can feel so physical. How I can really feel the pain in my body. How my stomach feels like a big knot and how it is harder to breath, like my lungs have shrunk a little bit. The pain is there, all the time. But some moments it is like a constant in the background and other moments flushing over me like a tsunami wave. I am not arguing that what happened is wrong. It takes two to tango as they say, to stay in the dance if you're heart is not in it is killing both parts slowly, and I'm not even sure that I would have wanted to keep up dancing that much longer. But I love you and this hurts so much.

It's better.

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. But it doesn't make the tears and the pain less real.