There's an other me. I don't like her and I wish she could go away forever but I don't know how to make her. She was in capoeira class today. The reasons for that are many and not really the point this time.
She had a horrible negative attitude. She came to work some aggression out of her body, but frustration over not being able to follow the moves kicked in and negativity in "i cant and i wount"-style was coming out of her ears. And except by feeling like a complete worthless looser when it comes to capoeire she felt like a burden to her fellow capoeristas, which is one of the worst feelings ever. In the end she was forced in the roda, and just felt frozen. Nothing in the game makes sense and the understanding og the use of the moves feels far far out of reach. So she, I, performed like the bad beginner I am.
What amazes me is the effort from people around me. I can't stand this person and still so many others do. At least put up with her since I still have friends. And the encouregment from the others at the capoeira means the world, even if I know that I'm bad. The spirit in the group is probably why I keep coming, it is warm and welcoming to everyone.
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